Welp, I Guess Center-Parts Are Back

 

This Guy Just Really Likes His Furby, Geez

“I am obsessed with furbys. I love my furby more than my family. I talk to my furby more than my friends. Everytime i’m on the computer i look up furbys, (have it minimized). If you ever answered my questions before, u’d know that most of my questions concern my furby. If my furby does not work properly, i either cry or become really stressed. When i get money, i either spend it on a new furby, or get batteries for my furby. I think about my furby 24/7, and everytime i am in a convorsation with anyone, i compare everything to furbys, or change the subject to furbys. Is this a sick obsession? should i be worried? see a docter, maybe? why am i obsessed? I NEED SERIOUS HELP”

Ha ha don’t worry. After lots of people gave him thoughtful and kind advice at Yahoo Answers, i.e. the Best Place on the Internet, he revealed he was only kidding. SUCKERS.

 

Headline

Showtime to Air Bon Jovi Documentary.

Ramón to Cancel Showtime Subscription.

 

Skills To Pay The Bills

“One Tree Hill” actor Antwon Tanner has pleaded guilty to selling more than a dozen Social Security numbers for $10,000. Tanner told a federal judge in Brooklyn on Friday that he was a middleman, selling numbers someone else provided.

I dunno how much someone on TV makes, but I’m gonna guess it’s more than $10,000 per episode. So why the hell would Tanner get involved in this scheme? What a dumbass.

Tanner plays the character Skills in the CW series. For now. Tanner has also appeared as Fraud in I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, and Cellie in Where the Streets Have No Name.

 

Quotidian Quotable

“I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard.”—Actress Megan Fox, who went on to explain it’s her own sillydilly fault because she’s go gosh darn sexy.

Yeah, that. And being engaged to Brian Austin Green.

And using slurs like “retard.”

 

RIP Bea Arthur

Goodbye, Maude. We loved you.

 

Today in Hollywood Can Blow Me

Cruise & Travolta to remake Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Insert your own “Who’s gonna play Butch?” joke here.

Full-Tilt Mos

 

Daily Mail Unaware of Hair Extensions, Wigs

As evidenced by this ridiculous headline:  “Where did all that hair come from Katie? Mrs Cruise develops glossy long locks overnight.”  I dunno, I’m thinking maybe she paid for it.  Went to a salon and had a weave, or bought a wig, or whatever.  The Daily Mail: Your source for stupid.

 

Two Douchebags Walk Into a Bar…

…and get into a fight.

No punchline. Just another day in the dumbest city in the world where the dumbest people on the planet do idiotic things.

 

Just Because