“I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard.”—Actress Megan Fox, who went on to explain it’s her own sillydilly fault because she’s go gosh darn sexy.

Yeah, that. And being engaged to Brian Austin Green.

And using slurs like “retard.”


Cruise & Travolta to remake Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Insert your own “Who’s gonna play Butch?” joke here.

Full-Tilt Mos

Falco meets Brigitte Nielsen. Seriously. The song is titled “Body Next To Body.” Seriously. Written and produced by Giorgio Moroder. Seriously.

I know I said Hurl was the worst show on TV, but that was before I found out this guy had his own show. WTF? This turd is seriously unfunny. Why is he allowed to have a sketch comedy program? Tell me he has photos of a network exec diddling a preteen or something and has blackmailed his way onto the airwaves. That’s the only reasonable explanation. Frank Caliendo, get off my TV. Now! Git! Go on! I’m not going to tell you a second time.

The McConaugheys are weird.

“Hi, I’m Matthew McConaughey, and I never wear a shirt and I like to get stoned and play the bongos naked in public. Did I mention I’ve got a brother named Rooster who named his kid Miller Lyte? Oh, and here’s some new info: My mom’s got a killer vagina, and I think that’s awesome, dude.”

Just wow.

Here’s a little McConaughey Strikes Back to get ya through the day:

Oh. Mah. Donna.

Pop Quiz time, Maudelings: Is the most disturbing thing about this image:

A. The vaguely dirty (not as in naughty, but as in grimy sheen of filth that hangs over a gas station bathroom) quality created by the black fishnets stretched over her bulging crotch tendons?

B. The appearance of offering up her armpit for the beheading of a nemesis of your choice, and the creeping realization that she could actually behead someone with her armpit?

C. The so head-explodingly Freudian as to be banal placement of the microphone?


D. The culmination of all of the above suggesting that Madonna may accidentally give herself the first sex change-by-workout?

If you said D, give yourself 1,000 points. Via.

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