Morons & Assholes

I am obsessed with furbys. I love my furby more than my family. I talk to my furby more than my friends. Everytime i’m on the computer i look up furbys, (have it minimized). If you ever answered my questions before, u’d know that most of my questions concern my furby. If my furby does not work properly, i either cry or become really stressed. When i get money, i either spend it on a new furby, or get batteries for my furby. I think about my furby 24/7, and everytime i am in a convorsation with anyone, i compare everything to furbys, or change the subject to furbys. Is this a sick obsession? should i be worried? see a docter, maybe? why am i obsessed? I NEED SERIOUS HELP”

Ha ha don’t worry. After lots of people gave him thoughtful and kind advice at Yahoo Answers, i.e. the Best Place on the Internet, he revealed he was only kidding. SUCKERS.


“I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard.”—Actress Megan Fox, who went on to explain it’s her own sillydilly fault because she’s go gosh darn sexy.

Yeah, that. And being engaged to Brian Austin Green.

And using slurs like “retard.”

Cruise & Travolta to remake Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Insert your own “Who’s gonna play Butch?” joke here.

Full-Tilt Mos

As evidenced by this ridiculous headline:  “Where did all that hair come from Katie? Mrs Cruise develops glossy long locks overnight.”  I dunno, I’m thinking maybe she paid for it.  Went to a salon and had a weave, or bought a wig, or whatever.  The Daily Mail: Your source for stupid.

…and get into a fight.

No punchline. Just another day in the dumbest city in the world where the dumbest people on the planet do idiotic things.

I know I said Hurl was the worst show on TV, but that was before I found out this guy had his own show. WTF? This turd is seriously unfunny. Why is he allowed to have a sketch comedy program? Tell me he has photos of a network exec diddling a preteen or something and has blackmailed his way onto the airwaves. That’s the only reasonable explanation. Frank Caliendo, get off my TV. Now! Git! Go on! I’m not going to tell you a second time.

At least the baby has an excuse

Put your hat on straight. You look like a fuckin’ idiot. Stop doing that. It’s not cool. It never was.

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