Your resident bitchez are:

Penelope Poppycock — Professional do-gooder whose heart of gold is cleaved twain by a vicious sarcastic streak.

Ramón Fanfarron — Likes piña coladas, getting caught in the rain and the feel of the ocean and the taste of champagne.

Frank Fishpaw — Mixologist, Toastmaster, and Dean of the Department of Pool Boy Studies.