“One Tree Hill” actor Antwon Tanner has pleaded guilty to selling more than a dozen Social Security numbers for $10,000. Tanner told a federal judge in Brooklyn on Friday that he was a middleman, selling numbers someone else provided.

I dunno how much someone on TV makes, but I’m gonna guess it’s more than $10,000 per episode. So why the hell would Tanner get involved in this scheme? What a dumbass.

Tanner plays the character Skills in the CW series. For now. Tanner has also appeared as Fraud in I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, and Cellie in Where the Streets Have No Name.

Advertisements

There are two words you never want to see in the same sentence: “Grandmother” and “Sadomasochism.” That hasn’t stopped an enterprising group of women from adding their knitting skills to Germany’s $640,000,000 a year porn and perversion tab, creating a line of soft, fuzzy bondage gear.

Manuela Buesch-Dankewitz, 45, who manages the group of lady knitters said: “The women love to knit, and it’s great to earn something from it.

“Our oldest team member is 86. She makes willy warmers and other gear just like the rest.”

That certainly warms the cockles, doesn’t it? I just hope they ship internationally. Because there’s nothing quite like being hog-tied in orange and blue yarn and spanked for spilling your milk.

(Via Annanova.)

Sure, it’s $550,000.  Sure, it looks rather ridiculous.  Sure, the little rotating globe is inside something the manufacturer calls a “pustule.”

For a watch slut like me, this is an orgasm that never stops, baby.

Via these awful people that apparently want to put me in the poor house.

The Haunted Mansion, the greatest ride in the history of Disneyland, just got more expensive.

Yup, Disneyco is raising rates to the Happiest Place on Earth. Prices at the Anaheim locale are rising to a porntastic sixty-nine bucks a pop. Wham bam, thank you ma’am.

You know, I would live in the Haunted Mansion if I could.

In fact, when I die, someone needs to sneak my ashes into the ride and sprinkle me a Madame Leotta’s feet. Well, not her feet, as she’s a disembodied head, but you know what I mean.

Vapid Stupid Opportunistic People Break Up

Former Bachelor Matt Grant and the recipient of his most important rose, actress Shayne Lamas, have broken off their engagement after publicly pretending that they were meant to be for two whole months, People reports.

“We tried hard to make it work but we realized that we were both heading in different directions,” the duo said in a statement. “We truly care about each other and will remain close friends.”

Marriage between a man and a woman is SACRED, people! ESPECIALLY when it’s all done for show on reality TV!

I fucking hate everyone.


The other day, completely without warning, one of the glass doors on my Ikea cabinet shattered spontaneously. (So says my roommate, I wasn’t actually home at the time. For all I know, she could have been playing ball in the house.) The only thing unusual that morn was the screeching succubus on TV in an old rerun of Kolchak. Shit happens: Monsters scream, glass breaks.

I got home, cleaned up the mess and jumped online to order a replacement. I couldn’t just leave it there, having only one door, with my collectables and curious goods exposed to the elements. Okay, it’s only fifty-five bucks, I can swing that. Add to shopping cart, proceed to check out. What the fuck?!? Shipping and handling $275?!! Are you kidding me!?! I realize it’s glass and all, but seriously, do you expect me to pay a 500% shipping rate? Fuck that, I’ll just take the other door off.

Not content with mere product placements, Lions Gate Films plans to release a feature-length commercial titled Foodfight! into theaters this fall. “When the lights are turned off and the doors are locked, chaos reigns supreme for the products in this grocery store.” This opus stars “some of the most famous characters in the world, like Mr. Clean, Charlie the Tuna, the Energizer Bunny and more.” Fan-fucking-tastic. I hope Quisp comes out of retirement for this.

Check out the film’s “partners” at the official website.