The whole thing could be canceled and I wouldn’t bat an eye. Hell, I probably wouldn’t even be aware that it had been canceled. I’m praying that Chicago never does win the contract to host the Olympics at any point, because I simply do not want to deal with a sudden influx of a million idiots into my city, adding to the rest of the idiots that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Let’s face it, I just hate sports. And people.

Having said that, I’d gladly watch eight thousand hours of Olympic footage if it was nothing but Raj Bhavsar. What am I saying? Olympic footage? Hell, they could film him peeling potatoes and I’d clamp my eyelids open, Clockwork Orange style, so I wouldn’t miss a split second.

Raj Bhavsar, Perfect Human Being

The sad thing is, now that he’s made it onto the US gymnastics team, I’ll actually be setting aside time to watch the Olympics for the first time in my pathetic life. Ah am in LUV.