Gerard Depardieu

Don’t judge me. It’s a sickness. If I pass a channel showing Green Card while channel-surfing, I can’t not stop and watch it. Monticello!

Mon cheri. Just look at him — squatting over a big pot of what looks like pig diarrhea. He probably smells like cheese and tweed. And all I can think is, “How I want to fuck him.” Mon dieu!