I’ve been getting lots of spam lately with the subject line “Update Your Penis.” This got me wondering what the hell that meant. Like what, let’s rip out the shag carpeting and put in some hardwood floors? Will Andrew Dan Jumbo swing by with his giant toolbox to help polish and buff everything out? The possibilities are endless. Especially if you have old wallpaper that needs torn down. I’m thinking this should be a new show on TLC, ala Flip This House. It would be the same basic format: Investing money, refurbishing, checking for mites. But with less trips to Home Depot.

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